Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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