sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
