Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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