Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
