she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
