If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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