there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize