You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
