I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
