hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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