I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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