Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize