the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
