He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So much rum. So many feels.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
