what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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