if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
