Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
