I think my fart just growled at me.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
