i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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