think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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