you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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