i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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