yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
