i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
