i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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