You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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