we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
