i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize