shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You dont lie about slip and slides
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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