I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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