I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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