how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
