Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
