I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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