You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
