I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
