just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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