um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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