I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
