weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My breasts were aching with rage.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
