capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
