FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
