oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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