just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Randomize
