oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize