Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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