I'm gonna have a badass scar
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
