It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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