R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
