nutella sex= disaster
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
