Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
