When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
