so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
