I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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