I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
