How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
