she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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