I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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