I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
We need to rekindle our bromance
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
