So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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