Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
